The Love Dare - Day 3
“Whatever you put your time, energy, and
Money into will become more important
To you. It’s hard to care for something
You are not investing in. Along with
Restraining from negative comments,
Buy your spouse something that says,
‘I was thinking of you today.’”
When you read what I bought my husband you’re probably going to think, ummm…oook…I don’t think that’s the point. But, I gave this a lot of thought. I prayed about it. And I kept going to the list of complaints I was presented with several times within the past few months. One of them revolved around my lack of cooking meals for the family. I have a strong dislike for cooking for just me, and then when the family is together, I always convince hubs to go out to eat. Well, guess what. That gets EXPENSIVE.
So, I thought about that issue in my marriage. I thought about the previous two dares. I thought about the other issues I’m trying to address within myself to help my marriage. And I thought about the fact that we were broke. No dollars. I don’t think I could have scraped together the 10 cents needed to buy hubs a stick of bubble gum.
So I bought him groceries.
What? Groceries you say? Yes. Groceries. I spent most of the day planning the menu for the next several days, especially since we would have the little one all weekend, plus a friend Friday evening. And I made a grocery list. And I stuck (for the most part to that list) and since Day 3, which was Wednesday, I have stuck to the menu, and cooked every night – even offering to take it to him to work Thursday night.
I’ve been trying REALLY hard to keep the negative thoughts away, and the past 24 hours has presented its own set of challenges with that. However, it’s getting easier, even if immeasurably miniscule, every day to push out those negative thoughts. When they creep in I go to the time when we were first married. I go to the times that we were truly happy, happy just being. And it inevitably makes the negative things disappear, and brings a smile to my face.
Now, if I could just learn to bring a smile to his face again.
Posted at 6:22 PM | Labels: love dare, marriage, selfish | 0 Comments
Love Dare, Day 2 - Love Is Kind
Posted at 7:32 PM | Labels: love dare, marriage, patience | 0 Comments
The Love Dare - Day 1
Day 1 – Love is Patient
"The first part of this dare is fairly
simple. Although love is communicated
in a number of ways, our words often
reflect the condition of our heart. For
the next day, resolve to demonstrate
patience and to say nothing negative
to your spouse at all. If the temptation
arises, choose not to say anything. It’s
better to hold your tongue than to say
something you’ll regret." -The Love Dare
My “day” started at around 9:30pm last night. And right off the bat I had a decision to make – express my “true” feelings through anger and frustration, or bite my tongue and remain silent. I remained silent until I could talk. It was HARD.
We were supposed to have movie night last night after we each got off of work. He got off at 7:30 and was home I suppose around 7:35pm. I got home from work at 8:30pm. I called on the way to see what he wanted for dinner – “whatever you want to pick up or whatever you want to fix” – is the reply. Oook..no problem-o! So, I walk in the door, put my keys down and immediately pull dinner out of the freezer and get to cookin. Hubs was in the spare bedroom moving boxes and such from our recent move. We shared a nice dinner, talked about plans for the house, laughed at the new kitten, and shared our day. Once dinner was over, I was going to ask him to do dishes while I took a shower so we could get on with the movie, but before I knew it he was back re-arranging boxes again. So, I went ahead and did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. Once I was done with all of that – I looked at the clock. 10:00pm. Great. Too late to start a movie! So – I put my PJ’s on and headed to bed. Hurt.
I read over Day 1 from the Love Dare, and thought – GREAT…this is just great. So here comes hubs, mad at himself because he knows I’m upset, yelling and fussing. He got into bed and talked. He talked to himself, to me, to who knows. And at every turn I wanted to respond. I wanted to yell, scream, cuss, all of it, for everything. But I didn’t. I waited until he was done, and very calmly responded. And I tried really hard to respond in a positive manner, non-accusing (because whew boy could there be some accusatory words thrown around at this point), and as patient as I could be.
We’re almost done with Day 1. And it’s been hard, very hard. I see reminders of past days fights and want to get all up in arms again. OH YEAH!!! Last Friday HE UPSET ME!!! Or memories of a tough weekend a few weeks ago come rushing back and I want to call him and drag it all back out again. But I’m not. Today is a new day, and with a new day comes new, positive, upbeat thoughts, and the hope for a new marriage
Posted at 6:40 AM | Labels: love dare, marriage, patience | 0 Comments