I Have A Secret

Well sorta...I'm not sure if gluing 100 bows onto a t-shirt is considered "crafty" - but I'm feeling kind of proud of myself. I even had the wherewithall to make a nifty hair bow. Huh? You say. Well - tomorrow is Princess' 100th day of school (which - by the way - she just got honor roll...again...you go girl!)

One hour of gluing and I am still picking glue out of my hair, off my hands and from my eyebrows. Really people? Am I the best person for this job? Hubby says yes - but right now I'm not so sure!

So - here is the result of my crafting genius - ignore the clutter in the background - I'm facing one challenge at a time here! LOL


This is the front of the shirt - 50 bows in all - again, uber moms of the world, please disregard the clutter on the table - I'm on step one of this 125,968,245 step program!

And the back of the shirt - where 50 more bows have been added to the shirt. See that creepy, spidery, suspicious looking thing sitting at the top of the neckline? That's the bow I made to go with it! Now she'll have a matching hair bow to go with her green, purple, pink, yellow, brown, and silver shirt!!!

I have a secret! It’s a doozy too! No, I didn’t have an affair with Burt Reynolds. I am not wanted in 6 states and a fugitive from 2 others. I am jealous. I am a wannabe.

I want to be one of “those” women. You know the ones I’m talking about. The stay at home, home schooling, organizing, crafting, cooking, cleaning, house perfectly decorated, coupon gaming, gardening, bible study hosting, boo boo kissing, super blog writing, play date planning, uber moms. There’s just one small problem. That woman I just described – is the complete anti-thesis to every fiber in my being.

Don’t get me wrong – I can cook. I make a mean spaghetti, and pull off the occasional lasagna. But I want to have that uncanny ability to throw some chicken in a pan, know EXACTLY what spices/seasonings to put on it – and throw it in the oven, and voila! The perfect 4 course meal appears.

However, cooking is like everything else that I listed – you have to have time. Rather, you have to MAKE time. And I would prefer to MAKE time for other stuff – you know, like my husband, Lovey and his 6 year old daughter, Princess. However, it doesn’t stop me from being envious.

My crafting abilities are well, marginal at best. I long to be able to look at something as simple as a sticky note and with 10 minutes, some lace ribbon I had “just lying around” , and the hot glue gun I keep holstered to my hip, it’s the PERFECT gift for Princess’ Bible Fellowship teacher.

Gardening? Pshawww…right. I have, literally, actually, my hand to the sky, killed a silk plant. Nuff said.

Decorating? Here are my stacks of pictures to be hung, I can’t bring myself to hang them though – I just am not sure WHERE? Most would say anywhere, dummy, better than a blank wall. Then we move to my mismatched sofa’s. And I mean REALLY mismatched sofa’s. Would it help any that they were free and I have a slip cover that I throw on one when I’m expecting company that makes them at least match color wise? Who cares about style, texture, etc….I want them to at least have a semblance of matching COLOR wise.

Finally – organization. This is where I fall miserably short of the glory that is uber-momdom. I can’t even say it’s marginal. I REALLY want to be one of those moms that have the 6 inch thick, three ring binder, with sticky notes, sharpie markers, scissors, tape, sheet protectors, and plastic color coded dividers…FOR THEIR COUPONS. But – let me tell you why I don’t. Because, I spend hours on Sunday, clipping coupons, looking up the best deals for my grocery excursion that I KNOW (maybe? hopefully? probably not) will occur at some point between bed time and armageddon. I google, I look up blogs, I peruse circulars (I mean hello…I WORK for a grocery chain…IN marketing…I know how this stuff works), I cut, I list, I tape, I divide, I protect. Then…I go to the grocery store. I shop, I know this is on sale. But I can’t prove it. Why not? Because the my beautifully color coded notebook, in all it’s money saving glory is at home. On my desk. Pinned under it, my menu plan (also color coded, mind you) and my grocery list. So, folks, that’s how you start to learn how to feed a family on Mac and Cheese, Hot dog buns, and ground beef for two weeks.

I LOVE Shannon, Works for Me Wednesday, and all of the awesome mom/bloggers/wives at www.rocksinmydryer.net. I could sit and read all of these awesome tips for HOURS. In fact, one of them, I was going to even attempt. I went and bought shelves for my kitchen cabinets. They’re still in my car. One week later.

So, folks. Here I am. Love me or hate me…this is me. I want to be one of “those” moms. But instead, I’m sure you’re thinking oh, no – she’s one of “thooooooooose” moms. You know – with the bratty 5 year old, and the absentee husband who could care less. Unfortunately, that’s not true – I have a beautiful, wonderful, awesome, intelligent 5 year old step daughter, who is my reason to be these days. I have an even more wonderful husband, Lovey, who is my best friend, my partner in crime, my soul mate. He inspires me to be better, do better, and want better. During this ride, of my new blog – you will get to see me try and succeed (hopefully) or fail (often) but try again at my quest to become…well…one of you!