I Have A Secret

Day 1 – Love is Patient

"The first part of this dare is fairly
simple. Although love is communicated
in a number of ways, our words often
reflect the condition of our heart. For
the next day, resolve to demonstrate
patience and to say nothing negative
to your spouse at all. If the temptation
arises, choose not to say anything. It’s
better to hold your tongue than to say
something you’ll regret." -The Love Dare



My “day” started at around 9:30pm last night. And right off the bat I had a decision to make – express my “true” feelings through anger and frustration, or bite my tongue and remain silent. I remained silent until I could talk. It was HARD.

We were supposed to have movie night last night after we each got off of work. He got off at 7:30 and was home I suppose around 7:35pm. I got home from work at 8:30pm. I called on the way to see what he wanted for dinner – “whatever you want to pick up or whatever you want to fix” – is the reply. Oook..no problem-o! So, I walk in the door, put my keys down and immediately pull dinner out of the freezer and get to cookin. Hubs was in the spare bedroom moving boxes and such from our recent move. We shared a nice dinner, talked about plans for the house, laughed at the new kitten, and shared our day. Once dinner was over, I was going to ask him to do dishes while I took a shower so we could get on with the movie, but before I knew it he was back re-arranging boxes again. So, I went ahead and did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. Once I was done with all of that – I looked at the clock. 10:00pm. Great. Too late to start a movie! So – I put my PJ’s on and headed to bed. Hurt.

I read over Day 1 from the Love Dare, and thought – GREAT…this is just great. So here comes hubs, mad at himself because he knows I’m upset, yelling and fussing. He got into bed and talked. He talked to himself, to me, to who knows. And at every turn I wanted to respond. I wanted to yell, scream, cuss, all of it, for everything. But I didn’t. I waited until he was done, and very calmly responded. And I tried really hard to respond in a positive manner, non-accusing (because whew boy could there be some accusatory words thrown around at this point), and as patient as I could be.

We’re almost done with Day 1. And it’s been hard, very hard. I see reminders of past days fights and want to get all up in arms again. OH YEAH!!! Last Friday HE UPSET ME!!! Or memories of a tough weekend a few weeks ago come rushing back and I want to call him and drag it all back out again. But I’m not. Today is a new day, and with a new day comes new, positive, upbeat thoughts, and the hope for a new marriage 