I Have A Secret

Day 1 – Love is Patient

"The first part of this dare is fairly
simple. Although love is communicated
in a number of ways, our words often
reflect the condition of our heart. For
the next day, resolve to demonstrate
patience and to say nothing negative
to your spouse at all. If the temptation
arises, choose not to say anything. It’s
better to hold your tongue than to say
something you’ll regret." -The Love Dare



My “day” started at around 9:30pm last night. And right off the bat I had a decision to make – express my “true” feelings through anger and frustration, or bite my tongue and remain silent. I remained silent until I could talk. It was HARD.

We were supposed to have movie night last night after we each got off of work. He got off at 7:30 and was home I suppose around 7:35pm. I got home from work at 8:30pm. I called on the way to see what he wanted for dinner – “whatever you want to pick up or whatever you want to fix” – is the reply. Oook..no problem-o! So, I walk in the door, put my keys down and immediately pull dinner out of the freezer and get to cookin. Hubs was in the spare bedroom moving boxes and such from our recent move. We shared a nice dinner, talked about plans for the house, laughed at the new kitten, and shared our day. Once dinner was over, I was going to ask him to do dishes while I took a shower so we could get on with the movie, but before I knew it he was back re-arranging boxes again. So, I went ahead and did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. Once I was done with all of that – I looked at the clock. 10:00pm. Great. Too late to start a movie! So – I put my PJ’s on and headed to bed. Hurt.

I read over Day 1 from the Love Dare, and thought – GREAT…this is just great. So here comes hubs, mad at himself because he knows I’m upset, yelling and fussing. He got into bed and talked. He talked to himself, to me, to who knows. And at every turn I wanted to respond. I wanted to yell, scream, cuss, all of it, for everything. But I didn’t. I waited until he was done, and very calmly responded. And I tried really hard to respond in a positive manner, non-accusing (because whew boy could there be some accusatory words thrown around at this point), and as patient as I could be.

We’re almost done with Day 1. And it’s been hard, very hard. I see reminders of past days fights and want to get all up in arms again. OH YEAH!!! Last Friday HE UPSET ME!!! Or memories of a tough weekend a few weeks ago come rushing back and I want to call him and drag it all back out again. But I’m not. Today is a new day, and with a new day comes new, positive, upbeat thoughts, and the hope for a new marriage 

Well sorta...I'm not sure if gluing 100 bows onto a t-shirt is considered "crafty" - but I'm feeling kind of proud of myself. I even had the wherewithall to make a nifty hair bow. Huh? You say. Well - tomorrow is Princess' 100th day of school (which - by the way - she just got honor roll...again...you go girl!)

One hour of gluing and I am still picking glue out of my hair, off my hands and from my eyebrows. Really people? Am I the best person for this job? Hubby says yes - but right now I'm not so sure!

So - here is the result of my crafting genius - ignore the clutter in the background - I'm facing one challenge at a time here! LOL


This is the front of the shirt - 50 bows in all - again, uber moms of the world, please disregard the clutter on the table - I'm on step one of this 125,968,245 step program!

And the back of the shirt - where 50 more bows have been added to the shirt. See that creepy, spidery, suspicious looking thing sitting at the top of the neckline? That's the bow I made to go with it! Now she'll have a matching hair bow to go with her green, purple, pink, yellow, brown, and silver shirt!!!

I have a secret! It’s a doozy too! No, I didn’t have an affair with Burt Reynolds. I am not wanted in 6 states and a fugitive from 2 others. I am jealous. I am a wannabe.

I want to be one of “those” women. You know the ones I’m talking about. The stay at home, home schooling, organizing, crafting, cooking, cleaning, house perfectly decorated, coupon gaming, gardening, bible study hosting, boo boo kissing, super blog writing, play date planning, uber moms. There’s just one small problem. That woman I just described – is the complete anti-thesis to every fiber in my being.

Don’t get me wrong – I can cook. I make a mean spaghetti, and pull off the occasional lasagna. But I want to have that uncanny ability to throw some chicken in a pan, know EXACTLY what spices/seasonings to put on it – and throw it in the oven, and voila! The perfect 4 course meal appears.

However, cooking is like everything else that I listed – you have to have time. Rather, you have to MAKE time. And I would prefer to MAKE time for other stuff – you know, like my husband, Lovey and his 6 year old daughter, Princess. However, it doesn’t stop me from being envious.

My crafting abilities are well, marginal at best. I long to be able to look at something as simple as a sticky note and with 10 minutes, some lace ribbon I had “just lying around” , and the hot glue gun I keep holstered to my hip, it’s the PERFECT gift for Princess’ Bible Fellowship teacher.

Gardening? Pshawww…right. I have, literally, actually, my hand to the sky, killed a silk plant. Nuff said.

Decorating? Here are my stacks of pictures to be hung, I can’t bring myself to hang them though – I just am not sure WHERE? Most would say anywhere, dummy, better than a blank wall. Then we move to my mismatched sofa’s. And I mean REALLY mismatched sofa’s. Would it help any that they were free and I have a slip cover that I throw on one when I’m expecting company that makes them at least match color wise? Who cares about style, texture, etc….I want them to at least have a semblance of matching COLOR wise.

Finally – organization. This is where I fall miserably short of the glory that is uber-momdom. I can’t even say it’s marginal. I REALLY want to be one of those moms that have the 6 inch thick, three ring binder, with sticky notes, sharpie markers, scissors, tape, sheet protectors, and plastic color coded dividers…FOR THEIR COUPONS. But – let me tell you why I don’t. Because, I spend hours on Sunday, clipping coupons, looking up the best deals for my grocery excursion that I KNOW (maybe? hopefully? probably not) will occur at some point between bed time and armageddon. I google, I look up blogs, I peruse circulars (I mean hello…I WORK for a grocery chain…IN marketing…I know how this stuff works), I cut, I list, I tape, I divide, I protect. Then…I go to the grocery store. I shop, I know this is on sale. But I can’t prove it. Why not? Because the my beautifully color coded notebook, in all it’s money saving glory is at home. On my desk. Pinned under it, my menu plan (also color coded, mind you) and my grocery list. So, folks, that’s how you start to learn how to feed a family on Mac and Cheese, Hot dog buns, and ground beef for two weeks.

I LOVE Shannon, Works for Me Wednesday, and all of the awesome mom/bloggers/wives at www.rocksinmydryer.net. I could sit and read all of these awesome tips for HOURS. In fact, one of them, I was going to even attempt. I went and bought shelves for my kitchen cabinets. They’re still in my car. One week later.

So, folks. Here I am. Love me or hate me…this is me. I want to be one of “those” moms. But instead, I’m sure you’re thinking oh, no – she’s one of “thooooooooose” moms. You know – with the bratty 5 year old, and the absentee husband who could care less. Unfortunately, that’s not true – I have a beautiful, wonderful, awesome, intelligent 5 year old step daughter, who is my reason to be these days. I have an even more wonderful husband, Lovey, who is my best friend, my partner in crime, my soul mate. He inspires me to be better, do better, and want better. During this ride, of my new blog – you will get to see me try and succeed (hopefully) or fail (often) but try again at my quest to become…well…one of you!